Sorry Never Seen It: the Podcast
3 opinionated morons Ashley Albert, Chloe Cole, and Katie Marovitch share their unqualified analysis of reality shows they’ve never seen…until now. We release a new episode every Thursday.
Cassandra Clemm in 13 Minutes of Horror Film Festival
Our short film ZENITH was accepted into NYX Collective’s 13 Minutes of Horror Short Film Festival and will premiere on the premium horror streaming channel Shudder this Friday — Friday the 13th!
VIRTUAL READING OF DARK AGES →
At the Star Crossed Tales virtual reading, Ruth Connell did a brilliant performance of my short story Dark Ages, which was a 2018 Roswell Award finalist. It felt very fitting to watch Connell, who played Queen of Hell on the TV show Supernatural, read as the seemingly innocuous yet actually conniving narrator of my story.
THE FANTASY OF THE FEMME FATALE →
“These fictional femme fatales do more to reinforce toxic narratives about women than they do to subvert them. They don’t challenge the misogyny that goes hand in hand with murder in our culture. After learning that these were the standout literary mysteries written by women in recent history, I grew disheartened. I couldn’t help but see these women-led stories as missed opportunities…”
DARK AGES →
Read by Emmy Award-winning actress Tamara Krinsky at Litfest Pasadena
“The innkeeper bursts through the door. He yells something about the midwife, I think — these people with their off-brand English are impossible to understand. He shoves a woman through the door and yanks it shut behind her.
Here she is, the woman I time-traveled over 500 years for. Beneath her white cloth hat squats a pock-marked face with gritted teeth the color of nicotine gum...”
MOVED →
“I didn’t look anything like the enthusiastic actors who unboxed Clara Dolls in commercials. The lid didn’t pop off instantly like a gasp but came off slowly, as though it had claws.
The doll lay stiff in a vacuum-sealed bag surrounded by gray packing peanuts. The plastic material blurred her face, which was an exact copy of mine. Her familiar round bulb of a nose pressed against the inside.
When I had asked Parker if he would like me to buy him a Clara Doll before I moved away, he said yes too quickly. I suspected he thought he could get her to do sexual positions I didn’t like, specifically the Farm Girl, which always made my leg cramp. The Farm Girl wasn’t his favorite, though; his favorite was the Divorced Woman, which was me touching myself in the shower as if I were alone...”
illustration by Surian Soosay
Robot-On-Robot Action: Which Movies, Games, and Shows Pass The Botdel Test? →
“The Bechdel test has helped raise awareness about the dearth of strong, autonomous women in movies, and while the Bechdel test is monumentally important, there is another group often neglected in discussions of social equality: ROBOTS.
So I’ve invented “The Botdel Test.” To pass the Botdel test, a work must feature two robot characters who speak to one another about something other than a human being. Now, let’s consider some works that feature prominent robot characters and see if they pass the Botdel test...”
The 6 Best Lies For Why You Can’t Talk on the Phone But Can Text →
“3. You’re studying to be a Cistercian monk and took a vow of silence, but texting is chill.
Sure, this may seem like a big change to anyone who knows you, but brush up on a thousand years of church history and incorporate words like “crucifixion” and “St. Bernard of Clairvaux” into the conversation and you’ll pull it off. If someone asks how the other monks feel about your texting, just tell them they haven’t said anything yet...”
More Writing
6 Unanswered Questions from Harry Potter & the Cursed Child - Dorkly, August 2016
Pokemon Go Pick Up Lines - Dorkly, August 2016
6 Disturbing Pixar Scenes That Definitely Happened - Dorkly, July 2016
If 12 of Your Favorite Video Game Characters Had Tinder Profiles - Dorkly, May 2016
6 Harry Potter Sex Moves - Dorkly, December 2015
The Pros and Cons of 6 Fictional Companies from Sci-Fi - The Mary Sue, May 2015
Horror Movie Heroines Killin’ It in It Follows and The Babadook - The Mary Sue, April 2015
The 6 Worst Settlers of Catan Players - Dorkly, January 2015
What If Other Filmmakers Made Call of Duty? - Dorkly, November 2014 (shared by Kotaku)
(Apparently I love the number 6?)